Lords of Acid
I just spent an hour in the sun on my porch, in my pink pajama pants and a sports bra, listening to Lords of Acid and smoking. I still have a tendency to smoke every once in a while.
I got an urge to take off my pants and then remembered that I go commando to bed and thought the neighbors might not appreciate it.
The sun felt great. The smokes were great too. Nicotine is amazing.
Wait a sec, I'm supposed to be listening a different Lords of Acid album and my player skipped to Madonna. I don't feel like listening to Madonna and yet I don't feel like getting off my ass.
I can't stand this nonsense... must change music...
Back...ah...sweet joy in my ears.
My head won't shut up today. I just can't turn it off long enough to concentrate on anything. I thought smoking might help but it looks as if I might have to go do yoga or some crap like that. I need to clear up my head. It has been so muddled lately that I've almost forgotten who I am.
I can do this. I can be alone. I just must convince myself if anything will ever happen it will. With him or someone else. Patience.
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Yes, it is 4 in the afternoon and yes I am still in my pajamas.
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I did get one thing done today. I tried to fix my neighbor's carpet cleaner(it broke so she gave it to me), fucked it up, and then threw it in the dumpster. I tried. It would have been a free carpet cleaner. One less piece of shit in my apartment is nice too.
