I'm on a blogation. I'll still be reading your posts through Google reader or Bloglines every few days so I can keep up with what's happening in your lives/head. As always, you can email me - shmeder at gmail.

I won't be coming back here.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

I try not to but I sometimes have to post about the insane crap people do. I want to think, in general, most people are kind-hearted, generous, caring, loyal, moral, calm, and SANE. Unfortunately, they are not. It wears me out when I have to take care of the insane, rude, and selfish sons of bitches that exist in this world. The other part that kills me slowly is my patient's family members. It's hard to watch a person going through pain and fear of death. It's even harder when my patient's family members never show up. People don't deal with death, pain, and hospitals very easy. Sometimes you just have to suck it up, get your ass to the hospital and stop being selfish.

First, a patient was with us for almost two months. He went through some major complications. He had bad days and good days. I got along with him pretty well. I saw his wife once. Once. His outcome was still pretty uncertain on a day that he went back in for another surgery. She didn't bother to show up. I knew he was bummed. It's just something he and I never talked about until today. A few weeks after he finally got home his wife left him. She couldn't handle being around a sick person. All he asked out of me today is if I could find a counselor to come to his room and talk to him about it. He was ready to talk and cry about it.

Yesterday I got a doozy of a patient. I had her last week too and thought she would be doing a lot better this week. She was doing better but she isn't sedated by morphine anymore so the real person is now visible. Holy hell, I had a great bitch slap coming to me. It's funny to see a person when their family members are around and then the person that they are the second those people leave. The woman is insane. When she stood up and peed on the floor I thought it was a one-time thing. Two hours later, next thing I know, she is taking a dump in a trash can in front of the door. Apprently, she thought her roommate was taking too long in the bathroom and decided she didn't feel like waiting. Then the clincher, she said that if she had known it was going to be this painful then she would have never considered her surgery. She is obviously a person of low intelligence and common sense. The last group of people you want to tell that you think your surgery was a mistake is the people that dedicate their lives to it. Common sense would tell me that I really don't want to insult the people that are there to save my life or wipe my ass... whatever.

Tonight I'm tired of the disrespect people have towards each other in general. It saddens me the way people treat each other. I know that this is the way of the world but it still doesn't mean I have to accept it. I'm sick of assholes. I'm sick of being yelled at by patients. The ones that are the worst never apologize. NEVER. It just makes getting up for work some mornings harder than normal.

I just really need to be around amazing people. I need a few more amazing patients to take away the crap I get from the bad ones. This week just wasn't balanced.

I need to find someone that isn't like some of the motherfuckers that bum me out lately. I hate that my day at work today has made me feel lonely. It would have been nice to have someone home when I got here.