I've had it with the people standing on the corners with cardboard signs. No, I have no money for you. If I give money to you will you NOT give the "you cheap bastard stare" at me the next time I see you here? I think not. Why do I feel so guilty for having money? Argh.
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The older I get the less obvious I want to be about needing people. Pride. I don't want to look weak or seem needy. Therefore, I don't really tell anyone everything that's going on in my life and what I need.
I found out that Grandpa is going to sell the house. The house that holds the happiest memories of my childhood. The ones I never want to forget.
I was going to tell a friend about it the other day but he was droning on about something. I called a friend yesterday to try to tell her but she was busy and had to leave. I have all kinds of excuses for not telling anyone the whole truth.
It's just a building, some land and a river. That's it. That's where my heart is...that's home.
I'm being a child about not wanting to let go but I've been forced to give up far too much already this year. I'm afraid.
