I'm on a blogation. I'll still be reading your posts through Google reader or Bloglines every few days so I can keep up with what's happening in your lives/head. As always, you can email me - shmeder at gmail.

I won't be coming back here.

Saturday, February 04, 2006

I could probably drop more f-bombs...

The weekend was over as soon as it began but it was fucking amazing...

1. Was looking at a friend of a friend's MySpace friends and found a guy that I knew over ten years ago. It was a weird time in my life. I thought I had my shit together then. He's a great person and deserves a lot more than what life has given him. It's good to see that he is still out there.

2. I fucked my Friday morning test. Grrrr... I passed and most people would be ok with my grade but I can do better than that. Shit. I have no fucking social life to speak of so I better have some goddamn compensation somewhere. There has to be a trade off in the balance of things.

3. I got over being pissed off at myself.

4. I am absofuckinglutely loving my pharmacology class. I am one of the few people in class that gets it. In fact, I might be the only one to understand any of it. I wanted to stay for more lecture! For fuck's sake... have I lost my mind?! Then I started thinking... after I get my RN, should I be a pharmacist? I love drugs. No, seriously, I looove them to the point of obsession. Not necessarily for what they do to me but pharmacokinetics and dynamics. The chemical reactions and cellular responses in the human body. Then that brings me back to my love of fentanyl and the main reason why I should stay the fuck away.

5. I went out on Friday night with some of the greatest people in the world. My friends truly fucking rock my world.

6. We walk into the place and stand near the front while I case it. I always need to get my bearings. It took me a little longer than normal because I think I might have pushed the vodka straight into my veins. The guys were ready to move on but I wasn't. I forgot to use my inside voice and screamed, "No, I'm not ready yet. I'm doing fine standing here staring at that hot guy right behind you." He was rockadelic and he heard me. I still didn't have the gumption to walk up to him though. I hate it when I don't act on something like that.

7. I found that same guy later on and he was wearing creepers. Amazing if you ask me.

8. I had to get checked off in school today on taking manual blood pressures. I don't have to take a manual BP very often at work so I was a little rusty. I was nervous for some dumbass reason. Anyway, long story short, I was spot on. I rule.

Again, it's the small things that make me happy. Right now, this week, I haven't been this happy and pleased with my progess in yonks. I've got my priorities straight, my student loan check came in, I enjoy my classes, my anxiety is under control, my kitchen is clean, and I cooked (don't tell anyone that I actually enjoy it).

I'm letting things fall how they may and I need that lack of control. Like I said to a friend on Friday night, "just let go." He did. It was amazing to watch him dance.