Brighter than the sun

Do you ever make social obligations and then want to back out but you end up going anyway? I did that today. It was a friend's birthday party and I was looking forward to it. It came time to be there and I just didn't have the enthusiasm that I had yesterday. I thought I really needed to get out and be social. Turns out that it's best that I stay in my own little school/work world for the time being. I got there, said hello to the birthday boy and the hostess, hung out for ten minutes and left. I just didn't feel like being there and dealing with anyone. I didn't feel good about myself and I needed to get home to deal with my homework for tomorrow. I didn't even say goodbye. I walked out into the rain and instantly felt better. I felt free. I haven't had too much time to myself lately and I'm really starting to feel it. I have a week off in May and I intend to do NOTHING for anyone but myself. I won't have any time off again until December. I even have clinicals Memorial weekend which means that I probably won't get time off for the 4th or Labor Day either. Grrr...