Hally

This was my first Halloween without her.

Her name is Halloween. She showed up to one of my parties in college in October 1991. The next day, when I was airing out the house and cleaning, she came back. I laid down on the couch for a nap and she jumped up and took a nap with me. That was it... I kept her. She was already about a year old.

In February I had to put her to sleep.

Things just haven't been the same since then.

I miss her more than I can describe in words.

Sheesh.

Tonight was the last night of kickball. Sheesh. I need a break like nobody's business.

Mr. Saturday night was there too. We talked for a while. He lives in Vail and stays at a friend's house in Denver. I will see him again this weekend.

I met a another guy a few weeks ago that I actually made an effort to hang out with tonight. He didn't bring a jacket so I let him wear one of mine. It was weird seeing him in it. I might see him this weekend too. Yippee!

At the bar, two guys (not kickballers) were leaving and one stopped to tell me I have the cutest smile he's ever seen. I blushed like nobody's business and thanked him. Then he left. That was it. It makes me happy to think that some people can still compliment complete strangers and not ask for anything in return.

The killing time... unwillingly mine

Echo and the Bunnymen

The past few weeks have been completely wrong. Just wrong. I have almost completely grossed myself out by over thinking all of this bizarro incestuous kickball crap. Ick. I don't like my behavior. Change the channel - I'm sick of this lame ass soap opera.

I did meet a good guy that I could like at the party on Saturday night. He's not hot. He's not the kind of guy I would use abuse and throw away. He's someone that I might want to know better and that scares the bejesus out of me. I always say I want some guy to fall crazy in love with me but am I ready? Can I put a decent effort and not fuck it up?

The party turned out great. I don't think anyone was sober but I really didn't pay too much attention. All I know is that we trashed my friend's place and it took 3 of us 4 hours to clean on Sunday. I was too tired to stay up and watch the baseball game on Sunday.

Craptastic

Work has been hell the past few days. People are dying on me and it fucking sucks.

I love my job. I was meant to take care of people. I've never been happier in my life working. It scares me. I just wish I had figured this shit out earlier in life.

Why do I have to fall in love with these people and then watch them pass away? If people wouldn't die then my job would be perfect.

I'm off to bed for another 12-hour shift tomorrow. I don't work again until Monday. Kickball and Halloween parties will fill up my time until then. I need time off.

Sally is lost

Am I a bad person?

I've packed my bags to go on a guilt trip. I'll let you know when I get back.

Pixies Set List

9.30.04
magness arena
denver, co

In Heaven (Lady in the Radiator song)
Wave of Mutilation (UK surf version)
Where Is My Mind?
Winterlong
Here Comes Your Man
Subbacultcha
Bone Machine
River Euphrates
Dead
Cactus
I Bleed
Crackity Jones
Debaser
UMASS
Caribou
Gouge Away
Broken Face
Tame
Isla de Encanta
Hey
Monkey Gone to Heaven
Velouria
No. 13 Baby
Mr. Grieves
Nimrod's Son
The Holiday Song
Vamos

Encore
---------
Wave of Mutilation
Gigantic