Some Candy Talking

The sunrise this morning was amazing. I'm rarely awake for the sunrise and if I happen to be, I'm normally grumpy. Today was an exception. I'm just in an unexplainable good mood.

At work, I have to help one of the sickest residents, Margie, get ready for the day before I leave. I wake her up and get her dressed. She has an incredibly long list of ailments that I won't bore you with so you will just have to believe me. Anyway, all night long I have to deal with some of the crankiest old people that are just angry about getting old so they take it out on an easy target - the caregiver. It's hard to get over the fact that people that don't know you yell at you and you aren't supposed to take it personally. It gets easier but I don't think it will ever get comfortable.

Margie should be pissed off. Her life is miserable. She can barely get around without the help of another person. I love her because she is not angry. If she is angry, she doesn't let it out on me. She likes it when I enter her room and make her laugh at my lame comments. This is why I enjoy healthcare. It is for people like her that appreciate me and are upset when I tell her I have the next few days off so she won't see me for a while.

Today is a good day.

General Public

Heard overhead:
At the 24 Hour Super Center a man got on the intercom and said, "Phone call for Mr. Seymour Butts". I thought I was hearing things but almost died laughing. Twenty minutes later, the same man got back on the intercom, "Phone call for Mr. Jack Meoff". I started laughing and then glanced at a sales associate. The look on her face said, "This is one crazy lady in the store." I didn't let her get away with that look. I started grilling her.

"Don't you get the joke?"

"What joke?"

"Have you ever watched The Simpson's?"

"No."

"Well, then have you been listening to the intercom this evening? The phone call for Mr. Jack Meoff?"

"Yes."

"Well, don't you get it? They are obvious prank calls."

The look on her face was still blank. "Oh. I get it now. What dirty minds, dirty, dirty people." Then she looked at me as if I was dirty because I said, "jack me off" to her.

I just can't help or be bothered with people that have no sense of humor.

Smelling:
It's official. I hate the smell of piss. It is by far much more disgusting than shit. Once you clean up shit, the smell disappears in at least half an hour. However, piss, that has some longevity. It just sits there. Even with opening windows and lighting matches, the stench is still there. Shit dries up and most of the smell goes with it, not piss. Fuck no it just isn't that simple. Then add a mixture of poor health and the piss smells even worse.

My days are numbered at this job. Like the people hate the smell.

Undertow

Listening to: Lush

The life of an insomniac continues...

These days I feel like I really haven't been able to write what I really want to in here. I was stupid and let a few too many people in my real life know about it and in all honesty, I don't know if I should care.

So this is where I sit, do I start a completely new blog somewhere else or just suck it up and deal? I'd almost rather suck it up and deal to tell you the truth. What a pain in the ass to move and change my name etc...

Then again, I'm too honest with my friends that they already know everything that goes on in my life.

This is what bothers me - the people that are Super Secretive about their lives. They only want you to know certain aspects of their lives but not the rest. Some people might say it is because they don't trust people enough. I say Fuck That Shit! I think it's a control and power issue. They want you to think their lives are more important, elusive, and extravagant. In reality, their lives are just as boring and normal as mine.

That's the thing; we all go through the same shit in one way or another. The Super Secretive are just as insecure, worrisome, lonely, and horny like the rest of us. Maybe they have bubble of reality issues and are afraid that all of their world's will collide and someone might (oh no!) find out everything. I might know everything or someone else might and that is just too much to handle. The loss of power over one's life is too unbearable. I might tell them what I really think is going on. Like magic...*POP*... the bubble bursts. No love lost - it's a bitch trying to be friends with people like that. I suck at puzzles and I don't want to feel like I'm always trying to put one together.

That's the other thing - trying to get the complete story out of a Super Secretive is like pulling teeth...practically impossible (except when PB Curtis pulls teeth). If you aren't going to tell me everything then don't tell me anything. This includes any lame-ass hints at a larger than realistic story.

I always used the argument that my life isn't that important and if people want to get in touch with me, they can call me at home. That's why I fought hard against needing/getting a cell phone. I had a cell phone in 1997 that my Stepfather gave to me for emergencies. It was a good-sized analog Nokia. I didn't even know anyone with a cell phone but it came in handy a few times. The bill always went to my Mom and Stepfather. They got sick of paying for phone calls at 2 am to get a taxi. It was just a taxi phone. I didn't miss it when they took it away.

Less than a year ago, I started back to school so I no longer had a job that my friends could call at (during the day) to let me know they were making plans to go out. It was horrible, the bastards started going out without me because they couldn't reach me. Fuck that, I bought a phone and then my life became *so* important like everyone else's.

As stated previously, my friend's know everything that goes on in my life so I guess I solved my own conundrum. If they know everything, then:

1) Why are they reading this?

2) Why should I move my blog? My life is boring like theirs.

3) If I did tell you about this blog and you don't know all the crap I've written in here then are you really my friend? Yep. You probably are but we don't keep in touch like we used to for a million and two reasons.

What am I getting at this time? The Super Secretive annoy the heck out of me. I became a hypocrite and had to get a cell phone. I'm going to keep Shmeder at Diaryland and Blogspot.

Medium please

Saturday night I went out to The Chophouse for dinner. I ordered filet mignon cooked medium. I apparently screwed up. There was a tad too much blood spilling out of my steak. I ended up grossing myself out and took the rest home to cook it a little more. That's the problem. I can handle blood - I'm studying to be a nurse. I just can't handle eating it. I like my steak pink but without blood running all over the place. Was it undercooked or should I have ordered it medium-well?

Last time I checked I wasn't a vampire. *running to mirror to check teeth*

Wrench

We drove separate cars tonight, as I was trying to get out of the parking lot a group of guys were in my way. They were kicking the shit out of a guy on the ground. It was surreal. It was something I've never wanted to witness. The pain the guy was going through must have been excruciating. I felt his ribs breaking and his jaw cracking. I didn't know what to do. I reversed my car to get out a different way. Then I just sat for a second to take in what I just witnessed. I called 911 and went home. I didn't need to stay in the parking lot and wait for the police. Thank fuck because they had already seen me pick up my phone and start dialing. I wasn't feeling very safe anymore.


I'm at home and feel uneasy. I don't think I will be getting a good night's rest.