Craptastic

Here's something that we can all do in our free time:

Think

Don't you just want to run outside and plant some flags with me?

Myelinolysis

I'm not sure if I'm happy about coming out or not.

My family had no idea that I blog. Until today. It surprised me that I said anything at all but it just sort of slipped out.

I took a break at work to go say hello to my sister on her floor (we work at the same hospital). We started talking about our latest obsessions. She was trying to convince me to start playing WOW with her and her husband. I said I couldn't afford it until school is out (not to mention time). I also said that I was too busy with my current Netflix obsession. She told me that they don't do the Netflix thing because the like to go to their neighborhood video store.

I quickly said, "Oh, well then you know Howard!"
She said, "How do you know him?"
"Well I know him from blogging."
"You blog? Like MySpace?"
"Yes I blog but not on MySpace. I've been doing it for almost 5 years."
"Really?"
"Yep."
"I'm Shmeder with no c, google me. You'll find me."
"Shmeder?"
"Yes, it's a college nickname."

I realized at that moment how much of my life I don't share with my family. My initial instinct was, "how could anyone that knows me not know?"

I guess I just don't scream out the window how much better I feel after I'm done with some of my posts.

I go back and forth between wanting the anonymity that I had for years to appreciating the great friends that I've made. I don't think I would have made it through 2005 without blogging. Tragedy had struck my life in the worst way and I felt like I had no one. It seems to me that when something horrible happens to a person people are there for you for the first few days. After a week, they have no idea how to handle you. They don't know what to say to you so they stop calling or writing. I kept writing in my blog and the few comments I received I appreciated and still remember. A few people sent me personal emails. It helped.

I know I keep people at a distance. I have more control of whether or not I get hurt.

I'm not sure if my sister will google me or not. I don't even know how to feel about it. Maybe I should start letting people in. I think my siblings would be a good place to start.

All yours for a buck!

I went to my favorite Dollar Tree (50th and Federal) in between classes yesterday. Look what I found in the check out aisle this time! Not a pregnancy test for a buck but still...

They did have six packs of Crystal Geyser H2O for a buck. I picked up a few to leave in my car. I also picked up more Teaberry Gum. They still had Bottle Caps but I declined the urge this time.

Transcripts

This is classic. It could be paranoia. I'm just going with a gut feeling here but I don't think this guy had good intentions for me.

I received messages from a guy on MySpace. Here are the transcripts of the messages from this evening:

Wanna grab a drink tonight? i am thirsty?
Thanks for the invite but I've got other plans. Why is your profile set to private?
like what, you are not going to be bad are you?
I'm meeting a friend tonight and I told him I would be there. Again, why private profile?
no reason, i have nothing on my profile anyway, too lazy!
T, don't you think it would have looked better if you wrapped a towel around your waste instead of putting it on the counter top? Don't you think you should share the rest of your pics since you've seen mine?

I'm not sure why I responded at all. I normally don't pay attention to these messages and just delete them. I think it was because he set his profile to private that made me write back. Then after looking at that chest for a bit it started to look pretty familiar. The guy in the pic is pretty short. You can tell by where the counter top hits his waistline. That would put him at like 5'7", right? It could have been my ex ex boyfriend so on the last message that I sent to him I started with T. He never wrote me back after that.

He didn't want to share his pics with me! That pussy!

Word of the Day

Hostage Lunch:

Meal purchased by the company, often pizza, and delivered for employees who bosses require them to attend a meeting or work over their lunch hour.

Urban dictionary

Not really a word but very catchy. I don't work in an office anymore but I still get a free hostage lunch here and there.

The Project

I started It. It's going to take forever but it does get my mind off of things. I started typing my old journals into blog format. I have the years in separate folders and picked up a random folder. I got 1987. That was one of the most fucked up years of my life. My friends and I tried to balance all the sadness with fun (yeah! experimentation!) but... well, you know how that story goes.

Here's a clip from June 18th:

My eyes itch
Tomorrow I’m supposed to go downtown w/Adrienne
I talked to Adrienne for a couple of minutes today
We didn’t discuss tomorrow
I went to the mall w/Marlo
I guess we had fun
John McFadden is having a party Saturday night
I think I’m going
Marlo and Adrienne left me at home tonight
Those rags
Kellie went out to Northglenn for a couple of days
Good
I humiliated myself at the mall today
Many times
I’m stupid
I looked like an obnoxious fool
I’m a goober
I don’t know what to do about Jim.
I guess nothing
My eyes are heavy

I didn't write in paragraph format. I rarely ever used full sentences or periods. I was 17 at the time. I forgot we used to call girls that pissed us off 'rags'. It's kind of disgusting if you really think about it. I would rather be called anything than that these days.

Did I really write 'goober'? Dang.

Blurb

I'm am so annoyed right now. Ack. Fucking mergers are pissing me off again.

Wild Oats and Whole Foods? I like choice and now I'm losing my options again. Sunflower is ok but doesn't have everything I need and want. The Vitamin Cottage near me is way too small. I used to work at Alfalfa's and had a great time working there. It had the best juice bar of any of the natural food stores. I miss 'da Blues Berry, CCC (carrot, celery and cucumber), Orange Creamsicle, and any smoothies made with kiefer.

Just because change happens it doesn't mean I have to like it.

Bonanza

I just finished watching an entire episode on TV Land. I didn't think I could sit through an entire episode but surfing at the same time certainly did help. I just have one thing to say after that episode.

Adam Cartwright is hot.

This is just getting me ready for the return of Jericho tonight. I originally started watching Jericho because of Skeet Ulrich. How do you get a name like Skeet? Why am I fascinated with him?

This is it

Today I'm reminded of this dumb poem (or whatever) from junior high school.

Wine me
Dine me
Sixty-nine me

69 days until school is done.

So you think you know me?

Create your own Friend Quiz here

No cheating!

Add: They (the quiz people) don't send you junk email. In fact, they never sent me anything. My Amazon wishlist isn't going to help much (it might steer you towards a wrong or a right answer). My MySpace profile might help a little.

Cello (je b) is currently in 1st place.

772!

I need to brag.

I just checked my credit score it's 772!

I fucking rule!

I have a confession to make

It's been at least 17 years since my last confession.

I confess that I walked into Wal*mart today. I didn't buy anything but I did people watch like crazy. I enjoyed my browsing. I really did. The beverage section was selling 12 packs of apple flavored soda. I'm not sure if the world is ready for that but it was worth taking a look at. I walked up and down the craft section. They had the cheapest looking fake flowers they were almost cool. They were selling a wreath of the cheap flowers for your front door. They were extra special tacky and I loved it.

The Valentine's crap was killing me though. It's not because I don't have a boyfriend it was just way too over the top. They had larger than life giant bears for sale. They're as big as a chair. I'd be happy to get one but annoyed at the same time. Where do you put it after the glow of Valentine's Day is done? The dumpster would be appropriate but kind of rude. I'm not getting one so I have no idea why I'm spending time thinking about it.

Is it OK to walk into the store and not buy anything or is it just as bad as actually buying something?

The Factory

I'm excited for tomorrow. I'm taking Hubs' advice and getting my ass up to the mountains. I'm waking up early and going to Vail for the day. I haven't been there since 1984.

I was 14 in 1984 and my only source of income was from babysitting. Several weekends that winter I went with a family to their house in Vail. While they went skiing I babysat the kids. The last time I was there they took the oldest kid skiing with them. They said I could take the shuttle into the town (it was only about six blocks) with their daughter if I wanted to so I did. That day was my first time I'd ever seen a Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory. It just happened to be the only place I could afford to buy anything so I got us some chocolates.

They never asked me to go with them again. I made a lot of money those weekends but they sucked because I felt like a prisoner in that house. There was no TV and a few radio stations. They didn't even have games. I didn't read books at the time so it really left me with nothing to do but babysit. I hated babysitting.

Since then I've really had no reason to go back. Tomorrow someone is actually driving me there so I really have no excuse to not go. I'm not sure what to expect but I think I will look for that chocolate store.

big 'ol fuck you

Some days I just want to give a big 'ol fuck you.

I was leaving a patient's room, he looked at me, farted loudly, and started taking a shit. I saw it oozing from underneath his grapefruit-sized scrotum. I cleaned him up.

I walked out of his room into another just as a guy was throwing his napkin on the floor on top of his lunch. He didn't like the food so he thought he would spill all of it onto the floor. I talked to him about his inappropriate behavior and then cleaned up the mess.

I walked out of his room and sat down to chart. I was there less than a minute and my boss yelled for help from another patient's room. He got up from bed but didn't make it to the toilet on time. There was shit on his clothes, his legs and the floor. I cleaned up all three.

Funny thing, that is not why I want to say fuck you. That's just a regular day at work.

Shoot me Now.

People are stupid. They really are.

I was at work the other day when a coworker and a patient's family member (PFM) approached me with a problem. Her cell phone wasn't charging. I looked at the wires to make sure they were intact and showed no signs of stress. They were fine. One of them suggested that we may need to call maintenance for this critical issue. Someone might die if they can't be reached via cell phone! The horror!

PFM states, "Whenever it's charging the phone says it is on the screen. When I plug it in here (at the hospital) it doesn't say anything. It's almost out of battery and I don't know what to do."

I have the same brand of phone so I knew what she was talking about. I decided to test her assumption that the electrical outlets at the hospital don't work with her charger. When they installed the outlets years ago they may have not made them universal to all electrical cords. I plug it in and as promised it didn't say "charging" on the screen.

I asked, "How many bars did you have before you plugged it in here?"

She responded, "One".

I unplug the phone from the charger with all bars lit up. Apparently her phone doesn't ALWAYS say charging when it's plugged in. She didn't bother to apologize for wasting my time. Last I checked I worked at a hospital, not a hotel, and by golly we don't have electricians on call 24/7 to fix her electrical equipment. We could however treat her to a slap upside the head to go with that lobotomy she had at some point in time. Pbbt.