I get it

It looks like someone needs to clean the camera lens... but I kinda think it looks cool too.

I think I have recovered. Not sure just yet. The jury is still out. I went to bed starving at 3am Saturday after dropping drunk Joel off. I got up at 5:30 am to start getting ready for my clinical. I think I need more than 2.5 hours of sleep to be fully functional. I was surviving on adrenaline from the previous night. BTW, the show was fantastic.

I went with Kath, Joel, Rosie, and Kevin. Thanks Kath! I had a great time!

My favorite conversation was with Georgia Chuck about the girls next to us that made Ween shirts but sat down for the entire show. They stood for the beginning of the first song and then just started falling asleep. Teem Ween, as they called themselves, was a huge disappointment. Georgia Chuck and I concluded that Teem Ween player #1 was the one that made the shirts, bought the tickets, and made the other 2 girls wear the shirts. They (2 of the 3) showed absolutely no interest in the show (Flaming Lips included). A stoned-out-of-his-mind fella was nice enough to get them high and they still didn't perk up. They were a waste of prime Red Rocks seating real estate. They weren't even puking. Therefore, by Red Rocks standards, they were fine.

I was able to hang out with a bunch of my friends that I haven't seen for awhile at their bus before the show. The bus had a working kick-ass toilet so I didn't have to wait in the porta-potty line. These things make my life better and happier. Rosie and Kevin took advantage of the toilet too. Rosie: Kap, was the bus/motor home owners name. Kap is short for Kaplan (according to his business card). It still doesn't explain those crafty shoes of his...

At clinical on Sunday I was able to watch a caesarean section in the morning. I love watching surgeries. It makes me want to get into OR nursing. Later on, I almost got to see a natural birth but the baby was going into too much distress so they eventually had to do a c-section on her too. I was standing up all day Sunday but enjoyed it! I know for certain that I do not want to be a labor and delivery nurse. It's cool but just not my thing.

I got out early, came home, and passed out.

It's good to be alive. Great weekend!

I just hung up on a telemarketer. I really couldn't even understand what she was saying. The slurring was driving me crazy. I could tell she is one of those people that tends to have a ton of spit in their mouth with it gathering on the side of their lips. I couldn't stand the visual anymore so I just hung up. Bad phone karma will be coming my way in the next day or so...

In my quest

To help Kath figure out what Bottle Caps are I found a delightful candy blog! Weeeee!

Next time I'm bringing out the bitch if I need to

I went to my local Panera to get some dinner since I couldn't be bothered to put something together at home. I ordered my food and then told the Dude (not to be confused with The Dude from The Big Lebowski) that I would have water with my meal. He me informed that the cups were available on the counter near the soda machine. Fine. Dude.

He forgot to mention that a shot of Jagermeister wouldn't even fit into the itty bitty cups. What's the deal? Why do I have to order a soda in order to get a decent sized glass of water? No, I don't want bottled water. I live in Colorado. It's only been recycled through like 5 people before it gets to me. It's not half as bad as the shit that comes out of the tap in the states that have rivers and few or no mountains. Colorado tap water doesn't gross me out. Southern California tap water grosses me out. You can tell me all you want about filtration it still freaks me out and it does taste funky. Don't even get me started on states that take water out of the Mississippi.

Anyway, back to my point. I decided that a shot of water wouldn't do. I set up four glasses on the counter a put a lemon in each. I put ice in each one and then filled them up. I picked up all four and took them back to my booth to wait for my dinner to be ready. I drank all the water and then went back for more. Wouldn't it have just been easier if the Dude had just given me an adult size cup? I think the extra cups and lemon cost more than one wax coated cup. Maybe I'm wrong.

It just annoys me when you ask for water instead of a carbonated sugar bomb your serving is automatically smaller. Why is this so?

Shouldn't we be encouraged to drink more water instead of being hassled?

I estimate that I would have had to get up 6 times (ended up finishing one before my meal arrived, refilled it and then refilled another one after I was done eating) during my meal in order to drink all the water I wanted.

Fuck that shit. That Dude will be giving me an adult sized wax coated cup with a smile on his face next time!

The rootbeer flavor is a little nasty though

I took "their" advice for once, ate dinner before going to the grocery and had a list on the back of an envelope (a credit card app. solicitation).

My list consisted of the following in this order:

1. Cat litter
   
2. Bottle Caps
3. Milk
4. Bread?

Way at the bottom of the used envelope I wrote:
Paper Destruction Service

I picked up a pack of Bottle Caps last week at the amusement park and decided that I fancy them and miss them. I went through a scoopable cat litter phase and decided that I hate it. The itsy bitsy granules get stuck in Chunk's paws and they get strewn all over the house. Plus, I can't commit to scooping every day but I can commit to changing out the litter once a week. Not to mention, scoopable is a total fucking rip-off. Man, they charge a ton for something your cat is going to crap in. The advertising worked and people *think* they need scoopable. The scoopable folks could have improved cat litter even more. They should have made it so that cats use it for puking. That's a product I would consider buying.

Eating dinner before I went worked. Here's what I did get:

1. Cat litter
2. Laundry detergent
3. Fabric softener
4. Milk
5. A few boxes of granola bars for my car (my car gets hungry)
   
6. Yogurt
7. Dried fruit
8. Snatch on DVD for 8 bucks
   

I think I did ok.

I used to have Snatch on VHS and let a friend recovering from surgery borrow it. When she gave me back my videos she swore that she owned Snatch AND Being John Malkovich. I tried to be polite and then gave in figuring the friendship wasn't worth losing over a few bucks. How big of me. I haven't talked to her in a few years. How stupid of me.

It was wishful thinking to hope that they sell Bottle Caps at the grocery store. I don't need them. I want them. How Veruca Salt of me. Now it turns into a mission to see where in Denver I can find Bottle Caps. I may end up in the candy aisle at Walgreens but that is a dangerous situation for me. I will walk out with Snow Caps, Raisinets and Sugar Babies while I'm there. Shit, just stick the fat on my ass now while I'm thinking about it.

So much for only buying things on the list.

Now here's my problem. I have a ton of shredding to do. A few months ago I cleaned out some stuff in my desk but it all needs to be shredded. I'm sick of looking at the box. On Monday I decided to start using my shredder that only takes 5 sheets at a time. I didn't even put a dent in the box and the machine kept on overheating. Is there somewhere I can go that has an industrial shredder?

That Sucker had Authority

I just finished up a few long ass days and one giant headache that is now smaller.

My headache started last Wednesday. It was a little bothersome at Six Flags Elitch Gardens on Thursday night... it shortened my time at the park. We rode the rollercoasters but each time my head was pounding a little more. I put up with it and didn't think too much about it.

Friday I went to school and skipped the party I was supposed to go to that night. Work on Saturday sucked total ass. I was training a new person that wouldn't shut the fuck up about herself which increased my headache ten-fold. By Saturday night it had turned into a full blown migraine and I was freaking out. I paged my instructor (that's right, paged) but she never called me back. I called her because I wasn't certain if I was going to be able to handle a 12 hour clinical with a raging migraine. I took a benzo and went to bed.

Today wasn't so bad. I fucking love benzodiazepams. The headache still exists but it's a 3 on a scale of 1 to 10. Last night was a 9.88. It's livable now. I should have taken drugs sooner. It just didn't occur to me for some dumbass reason that I needed to control the motherfucker. I thought if I took a few things out of my social calendar that it would subside. Duh... I'm an idiot.

I'm off to visit the neighbors cat that I'm watching and go back to bed. Sleep helps with these stress induced thingies...

I almost forgot:
Did you know that Elitch Gardens is for sale? I've got 50 bucks I'm willing to invest if any of you want to come up with the rest of the cash.

You never know until you see it

I looked over at her and she was a being quieter than usual. She was able to give me a sort half smile that looked a bit painful. She normally always has her cell phone tucked away and on silent. Today she was anwering the phone all day and would double check it every so often. I had no idea what was going on but it didn't seem all that good.

I studied her arm a little more. There was a giant bruise protruding from her skin. It was deep purple with a yellow green halo on the edges. I meant to ask her how that happened but we were in the middle of lecture so I decided to let it wait.

My instructor asked before I did. She silently told her, "My partner asaulted me. Yes, I have pressed charges." I wanted to cry for her at that moment. She's a fantastic woman that only has good things to say about people so I just can't imagine what sort of bitch did this to her.

Later in the day, a few of us offered support and housing to her. She feels relatively safe for the moment. She has a restraining order. She hasn't been able to get all of her stuff out of her apartment yet. She only gets 45 minutes to get all of her things some time next week. She has already hired an off-duty cop to be there for her 45 minutes to pick up everything that is important to her. She's emailing us next week to let us know of her designated 45 minutes so we can run in, help get her stuff and to also offer our support. She needs us and I'm happy that some of us can be there for her.

Drama... Yippee!

Dear Socks,

For the love of Pete, why do you have to be so hot in the summer?! You suck the life out of my feet. I'm done with you for now.

Foot loose and fancy free,
Shmedes

Quote for today

You need chaos in your soul to give birth to a dancing star.

-Nietzsche

I'm at work already and was assigned to sit with a patient. He's a little out of it and keeps on trying to get out of bed. It's going to be a lonnggg ass day. Quick! Get out the vodka and get ready to pour.

Had a great time last night. I need to laugh more. Then I need to laugh again.

Here are the reasons why I shouldn't go out on a school night:

• I forgot my badge at home so I'm working for free or I will get a rash of shit from the Time Card Nazi. I haven't decided my poison yet.
• I forgot my breakfast at home.
• I show up on 5W, checked in, and then checked to see if it's ok for me to run downstairs and grab something. I left my money in my backpack. Had to catch the elevator and run back up here to get cash.

I'm almost ok now but someone spilled soda on this keyboard and it's way nasty. I must go wash my hands now...

I think that quote will be my mantra for the day. It's almost too fitting.

Chumptastic

After doing a quick email check this morning and sending out responses I decided I needed a breakfast burrito from the Monkey Bean to start my day of studying better.

I ordered my burrito, an iced chai and sat down. Then I remembered I forgot to get it smothered and with bacon so I added that on. Then I noticed the sign:

Due to an increased in rent the Monkey Bean will be permanently closing on July 31st.

Wha? NO!!!

They are selling everything via silent auction until the 31st and then will have a garage sale on August 4th and 5th. I think Howard needs the giant blow up monkey...

Now I have to go to Snooze for my after bar snacks or morning after breakfast. Gah! FYI... Snooze will not be going anywhere because the brothers that own it purchased the building so they don't have to worry about an increase of rent. Yippee!

~~~~~

On another note...

I am a chump. I didn't originally start a team for the annual kickball tournament because I thought I was too busy so I created a team last week. I feel an obligation because I have helped with this tournament every year except for this one because of school. The first tournament was put together by myself and two other people. The other two people were getting paid for their work to put it together. I was the only volunteer coordinator. We grossed $21 K for that day and I made Easter Seals Colorado volunteer of the year. It was the highest grossing first time event in their history. Yes, that is a little known fact about me. Yes, I rule.

The tournament is August 5th all day. If have time and want to play please be a Chump and sign up on The Chumps at our website.

Yes, you will probably see me wearing a skirt that day. I am the original skirt.

~~~~~

Shit, now I actually have to do 6 hours worth of modules and I really am not looking forward to it. I hate school computer labs.

Opal Lake near Hagerman Tunnel

After a day like today...

I forget certain important things. The small things like putting life into my life.

It was a day I will never forget and there was nothing too spectacular about it. I got up at 5:30 and went to my clinical. I got there and realized I was assigned to the well-baby nursery for the day. The day went by fast and then I came home. I sat around for a bit and then went to Superman in 3-D.

I just liked my day. I wish I could put my finger on what made it better than most.

Kerplunk

You know when someone is trying to get to know you. Trying to understand a situation. Trying to put all the pieces together that make up a situation and part of who you are. Then that prying just hits something in you that you forgot was there? Something you were done being bummed about years ago but the alcohol just helps bring all that confusion back into the light and slaps you in the face. You know?

Yep. That would be my Friday night.

I'm fine now. I successfully compartmentalized all that shit back to the area in my head that it's supposed to sit. I've been over it for years and accepted all of it. I just need to somehow get other people to understand and accept it as I have. I also need them to stop bringing that shit up or at least wait until I'm sober to ask questions. I don't mind the questions when I'm sober so I can at least be able to make sense of things.

Permanent

Colleen, me, and Ange at the Pourhouse on Saturday night

Do you ever get that sneaking suspicion that your life is going to change soon and you don't know how? I'm getting it again. Everything is dandy in my world and I have no idea if it is going to stay this way for much longer. I know I'm being a pessimist but it's just too easy right now. I'm able to balance school, life and work just fine. I've gotten out of the house more in the past month than I did for the entire first half of the year.

I was talking to Colleen (I think it was her) about this weird foggy haze I've been existing in for the past year. The past few weeks I've felt it lifting a bit. I've also figured out how I can finally get closure on his death. I need to go to Pennsylvania. I need to see his grave. Just figuring this out has made a huge difference for me. I've always accepted it better when I've seen a body or a grave. I didn't get to see any of it last year. I'm taking Doug or Colleen with me and we can drive out to the small town where he is buried. It sounds like a depressing trip for anyone but I need to get something. I need to see him one last time. I need to see the permanence.

It's going to have to wait until I graduate but I will at least be able to go in less than a year. Knowing what I need is a step...

That looks like Christmas

(Pic is from tonight at Coor's Field)

I ended up going to the baseball game tonight. It was a great time. I had my hotdog, beer, Coke, and fireworks. Happy Independence Day!

I get to go to a game tomorrow night too. Yippee!

I ended up working today so that I can have Thursday off. I took care of a patient that is pretty out of it thanks to an aneurysm that burst (he's a young adult!). Even in all of his haze and confusion... he asked me for my phone number! That was the first time that has ever happened to me at work. Then again, he's missing a good chunk of gray matter... umm... go me?

I know or I trhink that ther eis some sort of unwritten law that you don't post while you're drunk but fuck that shit. This girl needs to sober up a biot before hiitiung the hay. Seriously. I really could have lived without those last two jshots. It is now officially Colleen's Birthday. It's been good to me so far. Like that one song. Do yuou know what I'm talking about? Then google the lyrics b/c I can't be bothered to update you on the 70's crap. I think it might be an jEagles song or some shit like that. Not sure but positve I'm noit a fan of the band.

I just ncrtqck myself up a bit and fell off my chair. Laughing too hard to contiue. Must sop now.

Can you get me some breakfast? Seriously. Taht is the meal that U need right now. I need nothing else but brealkfast. A breakfast burrito somthered ffrom the monkey bean or barracuda's would be darn near perfect for this slightly empty stomach.